Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Mash, Daleks

Saturday, 1 September 2012

image for Daleks Reveal That They Never Really Liked Instant Mash
This Man Gives Instant Mash The Thumbs Up - But He Obviously Isn't A Dalek

A prominent Dalek today revealed that, contrary to popular belief, the daleks never really harboured a passion for instant mashed potato.

"It's all a myth mate," red dalek Timothy explained. "There was an ad on the telly years ago for instant mash with some robot type things, but it wasn't us. It somehow wormed its way into the public perception that daleks are all mad for instant mash, but it's a load of old codswallop really."

The news came as a surprise for many.

"You mean it wasn't the daleks in the instant mash ad?" Terry Nation from Sabden said. "I could have sworn it was. I never liked instant mash anyway - it tasted sort of powdery and horrible and nowt like proper mash. It's puzzled me for years that the daleks would ever have had owt to do with it. Mind you, some people still believe we have treacle mines here in Sabden. We're famous for it. I suppose there's nowt so queer as folk. Or daleks."

"It definitely wasn't us," black dalek Edmund confirmed. "I think we were shooting a film at the time the instant mash ad came out. With hindsight, I wish we had done the ad - we got ripped off with the film. The swines only paid us minimum rates. Mind you - we don't have mouths, so we would never really have had much use for instant mash anyway. Unless we sculpted stuff with it, or lobbed it about or something. Oh, and while we're at it - could you tell your handful of readers that we don't go around saying 'EX-TER-MIN-ATE!' all the time. We aren't psychopathic robots who can't climb up stairs in real life you know. We play chess and talk about football most days. Oh, and we just love Simon Cowell - he's a real meanie when he gets going on the X-Factor acts."

There's no arguing with that.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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