Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for Madonna Wants To Adopt Snooki's Baby
Madonna has offered to adopt Snooki's newborn baby. (Photo courtesy of Salvatore Goombalini).

NEW YORK CITY - Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, star of The Jersey Shore just gave birth to a 6-pound-5-ounce baby boy who she named Lorenzo Domino Pizza LaValle.

Snooki said that little Domino, as she plans to call him, shot right out of her like a gazelle running from a cheetah.

Polizzi proudly boasted that she hardly screamed at all except for when the obstetrician first touched her hooha with his cold hands.

She remarked that she had originally planned on naming her baby Fettuccine Alfredo LaValle, but she changed her mind when she heard that one of her cousins, Allegrina Tagalini, 16, was going to name her baby Fettuccine Alfredo Tagalini.

Several relatives have asked Snooki to put the baby up for adoption since with her extremely busy schedule it will be very difficult for her to visit with the baby and give it the motherly care and attention that a newborn needs and requires.

In fact, Allegrina actually contacted Madonna and explained the situation to her and Madonna texted Snooki and told her that she wants to adopt her baby before it gets older and starts picking up some of her ill-mannered habits.

The 24-year-old Jersey Shore guidette reportedly went ballistic and called Madonna all kinds of hateful, vulgar names in English, Italian, and even in German, which she learned from dating a high school German teacher from the Bronx a few years ago.

In Political News. Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is saying that maybe next time the GOP powers that be will listen to him and not schedule a Republican presidential convention during hurricane season in Florida, the nation's number one hurricane-prone state.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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