Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 19 August 2012

image for Larry Hagman Star of "Dallas" Says No To Eyebrow Trimming
The weather vane which sits on the Southfork Ranch house. (Photo courtesy of Charlene Tilton).

HOLLYWOOD - Producers of the TNT show Dallas have just about given up trying to convince the main star Larry Hagman, 80, to trim his ridiculously hideous looking eyebrows.

Hagman showing that he is every bit as stubborn and as hard headed as the man he portrays J.R. Ewing has steadfastly refused.

Even his co-star Patrick Duffy, 63, who plays J.R.'s brother Bobby has tried to convince the octogenarian Hagman to do everyone and especially himself a gigantic favor and trim those silly ass eyebrows.

Hagman recently sat down with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo on the set at Southfork Ranch and stated that he will never trim his eyebrows because he loves the fact that it makes him look like a white devil.

He then added that he looks upon his out-of-control bushy eyebrows as a type of good luck charm, sort of like a horseshoe hanging on a barn with the open end pointing upward in order for the good luck not to run out.

Dallas make up artist Lynda Barbarella, 24, disclosed to Miss San Guacamole that the shows executive producer Tarragon Granzinbock even offered to pay Hagman $25,000 to trim both eyebrows but Larry laughed and said that he is worth $15 million so he certainly does not need the measly $25,000.

SIDENOTE: Linda Gray, 71, who stars as J.R. Ewing's wife Sue Ellen Ewing said that just about every time that she has a scene with Larry, they have to shoot the scene several times because as soon as she looks at his atrocious eyebrows-from-hell she starts laughing uncontrollably and the director yells "Cut!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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