Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Joan Rivers Has Mixed Feelings About Her Latest Honor
The cruise ship named in honor of Joan Rivers is painted in her favorite colors; red, yellow, and white.

HOLLYWOOD - Comedian Joan Rivers is like the Everready Bunny who just keeps on going and going.

The undisputed "Queen of Mean" can fire off razor sharp barbs at celebrities, politicians, and sports figures quicker than anyone on the face of the Earth.

Rivers was recently informed by The Ocean Sorceress of The Sea Cruise Line Company that they are commissioning a state-of-the-art luxury liner and it will be named in her honor.

Joan "The Moan," as Vice-President Joe Biden nicknamed her, was positively ecstatic until she heard the name of the ship.

When she met with the cruise line's vice-president Dutton B. Gatwicket she was informed that the 903-foot long ship is being christened The Royal Bitch of The High Seas.

Joan said that although she appreciates the hell out of the gesture she is not exactly thrilled with the friggin name.

Mr. Gatwicket assured her that the name was done as a form of endearment and it will most definitely grow on her.

Joan moaned.

He then informed her that she and her daughter Melissa and any immediate family members will be allowed to travel on the new liner free of charge for as long as The Royal Bitch of The Atlantic sails.

A stunned Joan Rivers' eyes got the size of ping pong balls and she replied "The Royal Bitch of The Atlantic? Yes, you're right Gatty, the friggin name has grown on me."

Rivers went on to add that she personally could not think of a better more appropriate name for such a beautiful, luxuriously exquisite ocean liner.

SIDENOTE: Rivers was also informed that the ship has an auditorium that seats 4,000 and it is being named The Joan Rivers Auditorium of Merriment and Hilarity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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