Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Rob Pattinson Believes Kristen Stewart Also Had Affairs With Charlie Sheen and Hugh Hefner
Rob Pattinson's attorney Ginger Allred. (Photo courtesy of Gloria Allred).

LOS ANGELES - Close friends of Twilight star Rob Pattinson say that he is still extremely upset about his former girlfriend Kristen Stewart's affair with her Snow White And The Huntsman accent coach Rayburn Fandersketti.

Pattinson has learned from a private investigator that he hired, that there just wasn't one little peck as K-Stew has said but that there were literally hundreds of big pecks.

An unnamed source who went to high school with Fandersketti has told Bedroom Pillow Talk that Miss Stewart came very close to getting a tattoo with Rayburn's initials (at his insistence).

The source when asked to explain stated that Kristen would have gotten the tattoo in a place where no one would have ever seen it.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Hmmmmm. Really?]

Meanwhile R-Pattz has made it known that he will not be forgiving Kristen no matter how much she begs. BPT is reporting that K-Stew is so upset, embarrassed, and distraught over her indescretions that she has offered to buy Robbie a yacht if he agrees to forgive her.

Pattinson has responded by saying that if he wants a friggin yacht he will buy a friggin yacht with his own damn friggin money.

He pointed out that one of his bodyguards Trevor "Muscles" Lappinkelta has just informed him that the word on the streets of Tinsel Town is that Kristen also allegedly had affairs with Charlie Sheen and even Hugh Hefner, who is 86-years-old.

Kristen was reportedly spotted holding hands with Sheen at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner and a few days later she was seen on the premises of Hefner's Playboy Mansion in Holmby Hills.

SIDENOTE. Rob has hired noted L.A. attorney Ginger Allred to help get custody of his and K-Stew's dog, Twilighter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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