Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Friday, 27 July 2012

image for Katie Holmes Blames The Mona Lisa For Ending Her Marriage To Tom Cruise
The Mona Lisa Breaks Up Another Marriage

New York, NY-- Actress Katie Holmes says there was another famous women that broke up her marriage to Tom Cruise--the Mona Lisa! Katie says Tom was so deeply in love with the 16th Century portrait that he even asked Katie to dress up and wear her hair like the Mona Lisa. The marriage finally ended after Tom brought a life-sized blow-up doll of the Mona Lisa into their marriage bed.

Falling in love with the Mona Lisa isn't that unusual. Many men over the centuries have developed carnal feelings for da Vinci's masterpiece. Even today some men leave gifts of wine and flowers outside the Louvre for the woman with the mysterious grin.

"Tom is also a Scientologist, and they believe in reincarnation. That had a lot to do with it too." said Katie. "Tom believes he lived in 16th Century Italy, and that he was married to the Mona Lisa. What a weirdo!" laughed Katie.

The marriage came to a sudden end after Tom brought a plastic blow-up doll and had the Mona Lisa's face attached to it.

"I was willing to satisfy Tom in most every way with his infatuation--but not that!" laughed Katie some more. "I wasn't willing to do a threesome--it was just too creepy!"

Katie isn't sure where Tom is now, but thinks he might be in Paris.

"He's probably standing in front of his girlfriend in the Louvre, fondling himself." she sighed. "What a whack job!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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