Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 July 2012

image for Shakira and Dolly Parton To Record An Album To Be Titled "Hips & Nips"
Shakira's hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour. (Photo taken by the lucky Rico Chorizo).

LA PAZ, Bolivia - Shakira, AKA "The Colombian Firecracker" performed before a sold-out crowd of 17,903 at The Inca Dinka Doo Coliseum.

Afterwards she met backstage with a member of Boli-News, the official entertainment news agency of Bolivia.

She was asked about her upcoming album which she will be recording with country music legend Dolly Parton, 66.

Thirty-five-year-old Shakira, the singing belly dancer whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour proudly remarked that she is thrilled to get to work with the country world's number one female icon.

Shakira, whose real name is Isabel Mebarak Ripoli, stated that when she was just two-years-old she learned her very first song and it was Dolly's hit "Jolene."

She said that she sang it at least 18 times a day even though she had no idea what the words meant.

When she was asked how the duet idea first manifested itself she asked, what the heck manifested meant.

The B-N reporter reworded his question and simply asked "When did you and Parton, first talk about making an album together."

Shakira asked, "What does making mean?"

"You're kidding?" The reporter asked.

And Shakira responded by saying, "Jes, I'm shust keyding. I know what de word making means. I was shust pulling jur thigh; I mean jur leg."

"The Colombian Wiggler" said that she first met Dolly at a piƱata party that Eva Longoria had thrown for Carlos Santana at Rob Pattinson's Malibu Beach house The Vampire Villa.

She said that Dolly was sitting in a corner by herself trying to figure out how to go about eating a tamale.

Shakira told her that you have to peel it just like a banana.

Parton started laughing and told her that she was thinking to herself that this son-of-dadgum tamale sure nuff does have a hell of a lot of fiber.

Shakira told her that once in a while she will hear about someone, usually form New Hampshire, Vermont, or Connecticut, accidentally forgetting to deshuck the tamale and eating it shuck and all.

The two started laughing so hard they both had to run to the little girls room. And it was there that the idea for the album collaboration "Hips & Nips" was first hatched (ah lets make that born).

In News From Venice, Italy. Reports confirm that due to the fact that lots of Venetians have taken up the hobby of scuba diving Venice gondoliers report that just since January a total of 9 scuba divers have been run over by the gondolas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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