Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

image for The Robert Pattinson - Kristen Stewart Relationship Appears To Be On The Rocks
R-Pattz says he is so disappointed in his latest movies that he cannot even stand the sight of popcorn.

HOLLYWOOD - The couple that Joan Rivers called one of the happiest couples that she has ever seen; since Dick and Liz, appears to be heading straight for Rocksville.

A source close to both R-Pattz and K-Stew stated to Bedroom Pillow Talk that the two have not been seeing eye-to-eye lately.

And part of the reason is due to the fact that in most of the photos of the couple taken by the paparazzi Pattinson is shown with a proverbial scowl on his face.

When BPT's Carolina Chipotle asked him about this, he shrugged his shoulders, scowled, and said that he was unaware of it as it is an involuntary emotion that he emits without even realizing it.

Miss Chipotle asked about the rumors that he is depressed due to the fact that his last four films Water For Elephants, Bel Ami, Remember Me, and Eyeliner - The Adam Lambert Story have all been unsuccessful at the box office.

Pattinson replied that he was unaware of the fact that Eyeliner - The Adam Lambert Story had not been successful.

Chipotle informed him that she has the official Movie Theater Ticket Sales Listing and she showed him where his last film only brought in $95,000 in total national ticket sales.

She then added that it barely beat out the Andy Dick film, The Three Stooges Get Patted Down At LAX Airport and Baby Moose - The Story of Piper Palin.

Pattinson rolled his eyes and told her that now he was even more depressed. He did say that lately Kristen has been bragging that her career appears to be skyrocketing upward while his seems to be spiraling downward.

He laughed and said that he tries to ignore her arrogant remarks but that it's really difficult to do when she writes them on an Etch-A-Sketch, photographs it, and then texts it to him.

Chipotle asked him if it would be a safe bet to say that his and Stewart's relationship appears to be on the rocks.

Rob raised his eyebrows, cracked his knuckles, and scowled.

"Yes, Carolina," he confessed, "It would be a pretty safe bet.

In News From Around The World. The United Nations is reporting that they have just convinced Ecuador not to invade India.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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