Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 26 June 2012

image for David Letterman Tells Justin Bieber He'll Pay To Have His Brand New Tattoo Removed
David Letterman says that Justin Bieber probably won't ever return to his show. (Photo by Madonna).

NEW YORK CITY - Many felt that talk show host David Letterman was a little too rough with one of his recent guests, Justin Bieber.

Letterman noticed Justin's brand new "Believe" tattoo which he had just gotten on his left arm just below his bicep.

The talk show host went into a bit of a hissy fit.

"What in the blue blazes is that thing on your left arm fella?" He asked as Bieber looked on in astonished astonishment.

"It's a tattoo dude, what does it look like to you old timer, a long mole or what?" Justin responded.

Letterman then spit on his fingers and reached towards Justin's arm. He grabbed it and he began to try and 'erase' the tattoo. It did not erase.

He then called his little bitty Canadian band director Paul Shaffer and told him to shuffle on backstage and find some soap and water.

Schaffer left to go backstage. He soon returned with a box of Tide and a 16-ounce bottle of water.

Dave told him that he meant a bar of soap not a big old damn box of laundry detergent for goodness sakes.

Justin then told Letterman that he had a weird-looking look in his eye kinda like that Penn State football coach Jerry "The Fruit Salad" Sandusky creature had.

"Your mama!" Letterman shouted.

"Your mama grampa," Bieber shot back, "She's a whole lot fatter, so let's make it your mama, you silly-looking, gap-toothed, Alfred E. Neuman lookalike."

Letterman calmed down and told Justin that he would pay to have his tattoo removed.

Justin grinned and told him to save his money and use it to have a skin specialist remove his wife's cellulite.

[RIMSHOT: BADUM-CHING!]

Letterman became furious with rage.

"Paul" he yelled out. "That's it - fire the drummer, I'll be damned if he is going to do a rimshot badum-ching at my expense.

Justin just smiled. He then leaned over towards Dave and said, "Well I guess you're just upset because you still wet the bed huh gramps?"

And with that Letterman went to a commercial.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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