Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 24 June 2012

image for Nadya Suleman, AKA OctoMom Thrilled With The Success of Her New Porn Movie "I'm The Girl of My Dreams"
Nadya Suleman reading the script to her one woman porn film, "I'm The Girl of My Dreams." (Photo by El NiƱo).

HOLLYWOOD - Nadya Suleman, America's latest porn star appeared on The View where she was asked questions by the resident "Hens."

Barbara Walters asked her how much she was paid to star in the porn flick titled "I'm The Girl of My Dreams."

Suleman replied that the movie contract that she signed stipulated that she was not to reveal the cash amount and if she did she could be arrested and fined up to $795 and possibly spend as much as three days in jail.

Joy Behar told her that it was a bunch of BS and that movie contracts do not make that stipulation.

"Have you ever made a porn movie?" Suleman asked the Bette Midler-looking Behar.

"Ah, well no."

"Okay then don't pretend like you know everything. You certainly ain't no Sarah Palin because one, Palin's hair is real, two Palin doesn't have an accent like you do, and three Palin smells like gunpowder whereas you smell like one of those streetwalkers on New York's 7th Avenue."

"Good one girlfriend!" shouted Whoopi Goldberg. "I guess you showed the Italian stallion that she may rule her stable at home but right now you just turned her into an old time milk wagon horse."

Joy told Whoopi to zip it and to try and find a homeless woman to give her some tips on how to dress.

Goldberg shot back by saying that at least she doesn't gargle with Parmesan.

Barbara Walters jumped in and told both of them to stop acting like a bunch of Republicans and let Miss Suleman talk.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck said that she resented that remark.

"Your mama, Lizzy, and your mama's mama, so pipe down little Miss Muffett." Replied the turn-of-the-century Walters.

Suleman cleared her throat and said that she would like to continue if it is okay with the resident bitches.

"Good one!" Shouted Hasselbeck.

OctoMom then said that she is thrilled with the success of her latest porn movie.

She went on to say that she loved the fact that she was the only person in the movie unlike her very first porn film The Yo Yo Ho's of Jo Jo Snow, which starred Ron Jeremy, Consuelo Diamondheart, Pretzel Garibaldi, and Beulah Mojave.

Walters asked her if she plans on making anymore porn movies.

Suleman giggled and said that the first one helped to pay the back payments on her home in La Habra. The second one helped to pay off all of her credit card bills.

And she said that hopefully the third movie will help her buy her 14 kids that little baby hippo they've been wanting for the past year.

A Friendly Reminder. June 26, is National Chinese Food Week, so if you have any Chinese friends how about inviting them to your house and asking them (politely) if they'll cook a Chinese meal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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