Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 22 June 2012

image for Harry Styles To Work On Ken Mither's Chips N Gravy Van At London Olympics
The Gravy Train Pictured Yesterday In Cleckhuddersfax

It's just been announced that Harry Styles out of One Direction (Or 1D as they're known to their fans) is to work on Ken Mither's van, serving pies, chips, mushy peas and real gravy to the general public at the London Olympics.

Styles, who was once notoriously papped eating a meat pie in Dorking, Surrey, is reportedly a big fan of real gravy, and never eats a portion of chips without it. Indeed, rumour has it that Styles is a fervent supporter and generous donor to Ken Mither's Chips n Gravy campaign, which coincidentally also once visited Dorking.

Industry analysts report that young Harry is to work on the chip van (Which will be known as 'The Gravy Train') in order to promote the work ethic among Britain's impressionable youth, and to give something back to the fans, who made young Harry's success possible in the first place. It is widely believed that Harry Styles will be undertaking the strenuous work for only a nominal fee.

"Aye, that's reet," Ken Mither confirmed. "I've offered him two pound twenty an hour, burram not expectin' him ter take it. It'll be on th' understanding that he donates his wages tert Chips N Gravy campaign. It's only reet is that. I mean, he's rich enough for a young 'un - even though he doesn't have a proper job, so he doesn't need the money. But them rebel lads in Syria do. Not only do they need weapons and ammo, but they need summat substantial in their bellies, like chips and gravy. Tha can't topple a baby murderin' tyrannical bastard despot like Assad baht some proper grub in thee belly."

The Daily Male newspaper was full of praise for Harry Styles's stance on chips and gravy, and for his generosity in donating his wages from the Olympic Park chip van venture to the Syrian rebel forces, calling Styles: 'A true patriot with the courage of his convictions.'

When SEN contacted Harry Styles for comment, his PA informed us that Harry hasn't signed up for any deal pertinent to working on a chip van at the Olympics, and asked us what on earth had given us that idea?

"I don't understand that," Ken Mither countered. "I sent him a letter last week. His reply's probably got lost int post or summat."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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