Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 16 June 2012

image for Kate Gosselin Admits That She Did In Fact Get A Tramp Stamp Tattoo With Russell Brand's Initials
Kate Gosselin, 37, still looks great in a bikini swimsuit. (Photo by her ex-boyfriend Steven Tyler).

SAN FRANCISCO - Kate Gosselin and boyfriend Russell Brand traveled to San Francisco to see The Golden Gate Bridge, which Kate said she had been wanting to see ever since she was 26-years-old.

The 37-year-old mother of eight, including sextuplets appeared to be in an extremely jovial mood as evidenced by the fact that she and her 37-year-old boyfriend Russell "The Hair" Brand were sitting on a park bench playing a game of touchy-touchy, feely-feely.

According to an eyewitness who was sitting on a bench directly across from them, the couple was playing the Las Vegas version of the game and not the universal standard Scottish version which originated in 1947, in the port city of Dundee, Scotland.

The eyewitness, who was later identified as Fern Gladys Zubatatski, 77, of Sausalito, said she overheard Kate giggling and saying that she felt a little bit naughty having gotten her tramp stamp tattoo.

Mrs. Zubatatski, who last year divorced her husband McIntosh Zabatatski after 57 years of marriage due to the fact that he got their 24-year-old maid Fayette Clara Willshill pregnant said that she could clearly hear Mr. Brand laughing as he told her that he had never seen the initials R.G. look prettier.

"R.G.?" Yelled out a concerned Kate.

"Just kiddin' ya me luv. Just pullin' yer lovely, luscious leg and a right nice one it tis if I may say so meself."

Kate smiled and told him that she loved the way he pronounced the three "L" words, lovely, luscious, leg.

She then said that Katy (Perry) must have been loca (crazy in Spanish) to have let him slip away.

"AB-SO-FRIG-GIN-LUT-LEY my sweet little peach nectar." Russell remarked taking a drink of his Coors Light Beer.

Gosselin blushed and asked him if he felt that maybe he and her would be hearing wedding bells some time soon.

Russell's eyes got the size of ping pong balls as he said "'Ey babe, who da 'ell duz ya think I be, NOS-TRA-EF-FEN-DA-MUS or what?"

Kate laughed and asked him what the heck the old English composer had to do with anything.

Russell giggled. He then stood up in front of Kate and gave her a humongous French kiss that her ex-husband Jon Gosselin probably felt.

A Friendly Reminder. June 25, is National Donut Hole Day, so everyone is urged to try and eat at least one donut hole on that day, or if you're John Goodman, Wynonna Judd, Michael Moore, Chaz Bono, or Star Jones, you can make it six donut holes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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