Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 8 June 2012

image for Matt Lucas And Light Entertainment Plans Boost TV Repair Man Recruitment
Somewhere in Yorkshire...

Plans announced this week for a swathe of new TV light entertainment programmes have boosted the numbers of volunteers for a vigilante organisation.

TV Repair Man, the shadowy group pledged to ridding the TV schedules of what it describes as "moronic" daytime programmes and game shows, says inquiries about training and activities have increased significantly following the news of plans for four programmes in particular.

Firsty, the BBC has ordered a second series of the "comedy" chat show The Matt Lucas Awards. The format features celebrities deciding who should receive awards in bizarre categories such as "smuggest nation" and "most moreish food."

E4 channel has commissioned Lee Kern's Celebrity Bedlam in which the eponymous joker will play pranks on celebrities - including telling them they are about to meet clones of themselves.

Back to the BBC, where a second series of the daytime quiz show Breakaway, fronted by Nick Hancock, has been green-lighted.

Finally, Sky Living plans a second series of The Love Machine, fronted by Chris Moyles and Stacey Solomon.

A statement issued by TV Repair Man today said: "From its inception, TVRM was aware that its stated aim would take time and effort to achieve, and we are proud to have caused the cancellation of several mindless programmes since we began operations last year.

"But clearly the struggle continues. These four programmes announced this week demonstrate with crystal clarity that TV producers and schedulers hold their audience in utter contempt.

"However, we are gratified that our volunteer numbers continue to grow and this week's announcements were followed by a significant increase in requests for information."

TVRM says successful applicants are trained at a secret location somewhere in Yorkshire, where good fish and chips and Timothy Taylor Landlord and Theakston's Best Bitter are readily available.

The statement concluded: "Increased interest and financial donations enable TVRM to increase operations and to consider establishing a political wing - political activity could commence within the next 12 months. But we need some fit birds to front the campaign."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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