Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 June 2012

image for The Reason Why The Beatles Museum In Hamburg, Germany Is Closing
This is one of the dozens of photos that are part of the Beatlemania Museum in Hamburg, Germany.

HAMBURG, Germany - The great big yellow submarine that looms over the entrance to The Beatlemania Museum in downtown Hamburg will soon be sailing away for parts unknown.

Loretta Piffinshaw with London's Ta Ta For Now News traveled to the German city and spoke with the museum's curator and executive director Folkbertheimer "Yeah Yeah Yeah" Koopmann.

He informed Miss Piffinshaw that the five-story museum originally opened its doors on Ringo Starr's 69th birthday on July 7, 2009.

Koopmann stated that the museum started out with 37 memorabilia pieces and over a three year period managed to amass a total of 1,000 Beatles items.

He said that some of these artifacts include Paul McCartney's high school graduation picture to George Harrison's good luck charm an arrow quiver that reportedly once belonged to Robin Hood.

Koopman pointed out that the famous Cavern Club where the Beatles first got their musical start is located five blocks from the museum.

He said that the museum houses about 43 beer coasters with the Cavern Club logo and name on them along with a bucket of red sawdust and a 34C bra that belonged to a girl who used to comb the Beatles hair.

He also informed Miss Piffinshaw that up on the museum's fifth floor is a sculpture that was commissioned by Buckingham Palace of Queen Elizabeth that shows her standing next to Paul McCartney and he is holding the queen's hand.

When asked why the museum was closing its doors, Koopman remarked that the first two years the museum received about 50,000 visitors per year.

He sadly disclosed that in the last eleven months that number has gone down to 627 visitors which barely pays for the museum water fountain bill.

Koopmann was asked if perhaps the reason for the decline in the number of visitors can be attributed to the rumor that the museum is haunted by the ghost of the museum's former housekeeper Eleanor Rigby who apparently ran off with a paperback writer and was never heard off again.

Koopmann shook his head as he said that he has already resigned himself to the fact that if the museum does not receive any financial help within two weeks it will close for good and he'll just...let it be.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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