Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 22 April 2012

image for President Obama Orders a Hooker
Secret Service agents will keep an eye on the fishing boat from Carnival Sensation.

Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker.

Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a recent scandal in which Secret Service agents who accompanied President Obama to Colombia stand accused of taking prostitutes into their hotel rooms while on duty, causing the Secret Service to send 11 agents back to the United States.

"I can see there's not going to be a happy ending to this," said Obama, massaging the vein throbbing in his forehead. "I need some relief."

White House officials said within minutes of Sullivan's departure, the President had already reserved a hooker by phone.

The First Family will pick up the traditional Irish fishing vessel when they arrive in Galway, Ireland .

Galway hooker dealer "Paddy" MacGruder said, "I think they're gonna take 'er to the An Tóstal Festival right here in the bay.

"Begoora! He drives a hard bargain, that one," exclaimed MacGruder. "I asked 800 euros for the lot, but he said he only wants to pay 30 dollars a head."

He said he lowered the amount to $250, but President Obama eventually decided to give him a combination of dollars and schillings worth about $225.

"And well worth it," said the President. "Too bad Sullivan decided not to come with us. He could use a little time off, too.

"Oh, wait ... that's right! He's afraid of the water! I'd probably never talk him into taking a ride on a hooker anyway."

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

8 25 15 4

Go to top