Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 April 2012

image for Denis Leary Sees His Truck TV Commercials Riding Off Into The Sunset Due To His Insensitive Remarks About Dick Clark
Denis "Mental Midget" Leary can kiss his very lucrative truck television commericals bye bye.

NEW YORK CITY - Denis Leary, who used to be a comedian, has found himself in hot water for making very insensitive, hate-filled remarks about the late music icon giant Dick Clark.

Leary, who is best noted for ah, let me see. Ah...oh yeah those Ford Truck commercials remarked that Dick Clark was a leather faced lizard.

Denis who looks a little like Ellen DeGeneres except with bad teeth has not as yet issued the standard cookie cutter non-apology apology that individuals who let their big mouths write checks that their fat butts can't cash seem to make.

But it will certainly be upcoming just as soon as "Denise" Leary's manager, his accountant, his publicity agent, his hair stylist, his pedicurist, his speech therapist, and his proctologist talk to him and suggest that he better apologize.

They will all certainly stress to Leary that he had better say he is very sorry and apologize quick or else he could turn into the next Gilbert Gottfried who is reportedly in the Witless Protection Program living somewhere in the heat-laden, mosquito-infested jungles of Guatemala.

Leary, who spells his name with one "N" instead of two like guys do will most probably be fired from being the voice of those truck commercials that play at least seven times a night; you know the ones where the truck reaches speeds of up to 115 miles per hour in 3.2 seconds and it kicks up enough dust and dirt to choke three full grown brontosauruses.

According to Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club in New Orleans has cancelled "Lips" Leary's two week performance that was scheduled for May.

A spokesperson for The Giggle Giggle stated that Leary will be replaced by Betty White.

Other comedy clubs that have cancelled appearances by Denis "Foot-In-Mouth" Leary include The Laughing Hyena Hut in Bee Lick, Kentucky, The Ha Ha Ha Lounge in Santa Monica, California, The Funny Finger Farm House in Bogalusa, Louisiana, and The Laughing Beaver in West Hollywood.

SIDENOTE: The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce is so upset at Leary's hateful, mean-spirited remarks that they have decided to never give him a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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