Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 13 April 2012

image for American Idol Shocker! The Best Singer Jessica Sanchez Is The Lowest Vote Getter, But The Judges Save Her From Elimination
Jennifer Lopez shown in her American Idol dressing room. (Photo by Caspar Smart).

HOLLYWOOD - In what is probably the biggest shock in the entire eleven seasons of American Idol, the odds-on-favorite to win Jessica Sanchez actually received the fewest votes of all of the seven contestants.

But she was graciously saved thanks to Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez, Steven "Lips" Tyler, and Randy "The Dawg" Jackson who went ahead and used their one 'save' on the little bitty 16-year-old from San Diego, California.

Everyone in the audience was totally floored when Jessica found herself in the Bottom 3. Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest was so surprised that he had trouble pronouncing some words correctly for example the words flabbergasted, consternated, opprobrious, Pennsylvania, and pomegranate.

J.Lo's mouth dropped open so fast that it messed up her lipstick. Randy was so surprised he started coughing and could not even get the words yo, yo, yo, wassup dawg out.

And Steven "The Screamin' Demon" was so shocked that he did not notice that one of his earrings had come off his ear and gotten lodged on his lower lip.

American Idol mentor Jimmy Iovine was in such a stage of surprise that he did not realize that he actually took off his cap for the first time since the shows premier.

And as expected he is bald with a tattoo of six musical notes tattooed right on the top of his head.

Ryan asked the shows producer Bernadette Penderlicki why she felt that Jessica, who is by far the best singer of the remaining seven, received the fewest votes.

Miss Penderlicki instantly answered that the reason is because 80 percent of the voters are little girls between the ages of 10 and 14, and they are going to vote for boys like Colton Dixon and Phillip Phillips and not for girls like Jessica Sanchez, Elise Testone, or Hollie Cavanaugh.

She reminded Ryan that last years best singer, Pia Toscano met the same fate as she was eliminated while there were still seven singers remaining.

Miss Penderlicki pointed out that even Woody The Wonder Woodchuck who had a record of 4-1, was thrown for a loop as he had picked Hollie "Little Dolly" Cavanaugh to be eliminated this week.

SIDENOTE: Next week the American Idol contestants will be mentored by Willow Smith, 11, and they will be singing songs made famous by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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