Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 11 April 2012

image for Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans
Will she... won't she?

Admirers of historian Bettany Hughes are sending out warning signals to fans of rival TV boffin babe, Alice Roberts, as they prepare to watch her latest series, Divine Women tonight.

As has been reported in these pages ad nauseum followers of anatomist Prof Roberts have been waiting in vain for a glimpse of her naked form as she presents programmes on the human story and wild swimming.

After she failed to fulfil their hopes in her last programme - about the discovery of a completely preserved woolly mammoth in Siberia - some frustrated fans are reported to be transferring their affections to other presenters, including Prof Hughes.

But Flagellation Burberry, chair of the leading Bettany Hughes fan club, warned: "They can just shove off! We all know their game - they've seen Prof Hughes is doing a new series about women in religion and they think that she's going to prance around on screen with her knockers out like one of those ancient priestesses or some goddess statue, sad bastards.

"Well, if she does it'll be for us loyal fans only, so that Roberts crowd can just bugger off back to their anthropology books and look at pictures of hairy old neanderthal bints cooking in a cave - or go and watch thet Mary Beard meeting the Romans next week!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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