Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars Eliminates Martina Navratilova: Tony Dovolani Complains That Derek Hough and Mark Ballas Always Get The Prettiest or Best Celebrity Partners
Martina presented her dance partner, Tony Dovolani with an autographed tennis ball and tennis racket.

HOLLYWOOD - Season 14 of Dancing With The Stars has sent the first celebrity packing. And that dreaded distinction this season goes to tennis legend Martina Navratilova.

Navratilova's legendary tennis back swing did not help her one bit in dancing the quick step or the jive.

Pop singer Gavin DeGraw found himself in the bottom two and was sweating it for a few moments.

DeGraw always wears hats and caps and it has been alleged by several supermarket tabloids that he has never been photographed without some kind of head gear covering his head.

Taffeta Kixx of the entertainment news agency iRumors did state in a recent interview that she has actually seen a photo of DeGraw, at the age of six without a hat or cap.

Martina's pro dance partner Tony Dovolani was interviewed by Miss Kixx backstage after the show. Tony was not a happy dancing camper.

He remarked to Miss K that he is really getting disgusted at the fact that every season Derek Hough and Mark Ballas always seem to be paired with either the prettiest stars or else the best stars.

Dovolani, who is usually pretty reserved said that this year Hough is paired with the stunningly beautiful Maria Menounos and Mark Ballas is paired with the ravishingly gorgeous Katherine Jenkins.

Dancing With The Stars producer Bernadette Penderlicki was asked about Dovolani's claim. She simply smiled and added that Tony has no basis for his claim as the stars are partnered with the pro dancers by using a computerized system.

Penderlicki added that if Dovolani wants to place the blame somewhere that he place it on the show's $2.9 million IBX 7000 Intergalactic Starlight Computer.

She noted that the computer is literally fed hundreds of facts, data, information, and details regarding each contestant and then it and only it decides who will be paired with who or whom if you reside east of the Rocky Mountains.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Martina Navratilova who is 55, took the elimination like the pro that she is. Afterwards she told the assembled media that she did enjoy the fact that she got her hair styled and that she also got to wear a dress, feminine shoes, and makeup which she had not done in over 20 years. Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli remarked that Martina looked like Meryl Streep, except with very pronounced muscles.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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