Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 16 March 2012

image for Three Blondes Find Themselves Sadly Silently Sitting In American Idol's "Bottom 3"
A photo of Steven Tyler's dog "Muffin" which was a gift from ex-girlfriend Kate Gosselin.

HOLLYWOOD - After starting off with over 100,000 contestants, American Idol has now whittled that number down to the Top 10.

And this week's "Bottom 3" found three blondes sitting in the dreaded "Bottom 3" stools.

South Carolina's Elise "Estrogen" Testone, 28, was the first to take a stool or to not sound so hospitally lets say chair instead. Elise had sung the song "To Sir With Love" by Lulu.

The next one to occupy one of the three "Loser's Chairs" as Randy "The Dawg" Jackson refers to them was Erika "The Gumster" Van Pelt, 26, of Rhode Island. Erika sang the Culture Club song "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?"

And the third blonde to occupy one of the dreaded chairs was six-foot tall Shannon "The Ladder" Magrane, an extremely long legged 16-year-old Southern gal from Florida. Steven told her that she really messed up when she decided to sing the traditional song "The Hokey Pokey."

Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest soon sent Elise to join the other eight contestants on what Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez refers to as "SafeLand."

The American Idol host, who is dating the much younger Dancing With The Stars dancer Julianne Hough, then said that Erika was saved by the skin on her proboscis and that she would be a member of The American Idol Summer Tour.

The three judges had an opportunity to save Shannon but they all decided that she was just not quite ready for the American Idol stage yet.

After the show Miss Magrane did say to a reporter for TV ClickerWorld that she is going to return to Florida and see about contacting Florida native Gloria Estefan about having her give her some private singing lessons.

SIDENOTE: Woody the Wonder Woodchuck correctly picked Shannon Magrane to be eliminated from this week's show. Woody's record for the 2012 American Idol season is now 1-1.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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