Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

image for Demi Moore Has Returned From Rehab and She Looks A Little Bit Better But Not Much
A photo of Bluebeard the Buccaneer Rehab Clinic located on the island of Barbados.

LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore, one of Tinsel Town's most famous "Cougars" was met at LAX Airport by one of her three non-celebrity looking daughters.

She quickly picked up her luggage and got into the family's SUV and drove off to her home in the Hollywood Hills.

A family spokesperson identified as Ethelene Kakowski stated that the 49-year-old actress looked a little bit better but not really that much better than when she left to check into The Bluebeard The Buccaneer Rehab Clinic on the Caribbean Island of Barbados.

Ms. Kakowski, 46, later spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk and stated that while at the rehab clinic the future ex-Mrs. Ashton Kutcher was given a multitude of tests including a vision test; an ear, nose, and throat coordination test; a pap smear; a medically required RCPT (Rehab Clinic Pregnancy Test), and a Rorschach Ink Blot Test.

Metzenbaum Kassenbaum with BPT noted that Moore's attending rehab clinic physician Dr. Langtry "The Mind Master" Skimasetta stated that he found it very interesting that during her Rorschach Ink Blot Test every single ink stain and ink blotch that she saw reminded her of her boy-toy husband Ashton Kutcher.

Dr. Skimasetta said that in his 27 years at the clinic he had never had a female patient who was shown three dozen pictures remark that each one had something to do with her husband.

The doctor noted that in one picture, which he said included three small dots, a dash, and a semi-colon, Ms. Moore told him that she saw Ashton wearing a Chicago Cubs shirt and a pair of cut-off jeans holding a camera while taking a revealing photo of her as she was dressed in a tiny little purple bikini swimsuit in their backyard pool during the summer of 2008.

When Dr. Skimasetta was asked what exactly Moore had been treated for he remarked that it was personal and that he was not at liberty to discuss anything regarding the extremely sensitive and highly private procedures that Demi Moore had been given.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: After talking to my cherished friend Larry King, I learned that Moore was treated for several things. Three of these included a unique dietary malfunction associated with self induced skinniness, second degree dire despondency depression, and one of the most tenaciously tenacious tape worms in the history of tape worms.]

Family spokesperson Ethelene Kakowski touched upon the fact that the actress has started eating normal food such as okra and peanut butter finger sandwiches, sparrow feet soup, and chicken fried sardines.

Kakowski went on to say that she spoke to Demi last night and that she was shaving her legs and mentioned that her goal is to go out to the Hollywood club scene and find herself a brand new boy toy to take Ashton's place.

Bedroom Pillow Talk will keep you posted on Demi Moore's dietary intake as well as on her quest to find herself a new boy toy.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

8 4 11 5

Go to top ^