Written by ArtismyName
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Topics: New York, Marathon

Wednesday, 5 November 2003

image for P.Diddi Set To Diddi Next Years NYC Marathon "For Da Sweat-Shop Children"
There’s room for children in the back...

P.Diddi, ecstatic from his recent completion of the New York City Marathon, already announced plans for a possible repeat performance in next years race. "I diddied, this marathon for da children"--puffy. He sure diddi, raising an estimated 2 million dollars for NYC youths.

But Puffy doesn't like to be outdone by anybody, not even himself. "I really outdone myself wit dis one, I mead 2mil that's like more chedda than a box of Cheeze-It's...I don't like being one-up'ed, and I really one-up'ed myself wit dis marathon shit, so now I'm gonna two-up myself by runnin next year for da sweat-shop children"

Diddi feels these children are in need of, and deserve our help. They are forced to work in an unclean, unsafe, crowded, dangerous environment, some as young as 5yrs old. They risk life and limb operating outlawed, old unsafe machinery. Thats why next years goal is to raise enough money so these kids wont have to continue on like this. The money will go towards newer, larger facilities, with safer state of the art equipment, which will not only improve health conditions for the kids but it will also raise their life expectancy, as well as their production rate. Diddi is said to be working closely with the mayor of Africa, in coordinating the distribution and implementation of the money.

"We just want to make sure these kids are allotted the same opportunities when they are old enough to 'graduat' from our institutions, other sweat-shop kids their age have". Incidentally, the average "graduate" age is around the same as that for high school children in U.S. As the children mature and become old enough to ask for a greater wage, they immediately become "graduates". Some soon find themselves ill prepared for the workplace, what with the little amount of education they picked up over the years from old outdated factory equipment. Many find new jobs in new factories, only to be fired because it's too costly to train them for use on the new equipment. "That's why these kids desperately need these new facilities and equipment.

Pueblo, an ex employee of Diddi, talked of his meeting with the hip-hop mogul. " Senior Diddi come to dee shop one time with a senorita, who has dee mui grande bottom...he ver kind man, he tell me i have a head shape like a peanut, and then dee grande bottom senorita and him had such a laugh...later that day I was fired when my finger got jammed in the du-rag machine, and it hold up production for dos minutes, luckily the supervisor was able to saw my finger off and re-start dee machine, otherwise i would have really been in trouble...It was completely my fault".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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