The Mum of the Year, ironically sponsored by a fox this year, has thrown up yet another controversial winner. Previous winners have included Kerry Katona and Margaret Thatcher.
This year had many names that were already controversial, but none so much as the eventual winner. On the list of potentially controversial winners were Natasha Giggs, Katie Price and Peaches Geldof. Ms Geldof is still pregnant, but apparently still eligible,
However this year's winner of the [what's the opposite of] prestigious award has gone to Elton John.
"Elton is a fantastic role model for any mum," said contest organiser, Joaquin Hebden-Bridge. "He dotes on baby Zac. He showers him with affection, something he considers more important than material things. Although he showers Zac with those too."
Elton John and husband David Furness were said to be delighted with the award that puts them in such illustrious company as Kerry Katona.
Katie Price, however, was said to be livid.
"Am I not controversial enough?" she demanded. "Hell, I've left my kids on their own in the house for a week with nothing but my credit card and a number for the local pizza place. What do you have to do to win this award? Have a sex change? Hey that's a great idea for a new reality show. Do men have breasts? No? Well, scrap that idea, nobody's touching these babies."
Joaquin Hebden-Bridge is already setting to work compiling next year's short list of potential mums of the year. He's already got his eye on some great candidates including Mother Teresa (dead and never had kids), the Queen Mum (also dead, sorry to break it to you like this), both Pippa Middleton and her sister Kate and the Queen herself.
"Well, we had a queen win it this year," said Joaquin. "Why not capitalise it for next year?"