Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan's Lawyers Get Bonus after Waxing Her Surfboard
"I'm really just a good Christian girl who needed to grow up"

Call it what you will. Speaking in flowery terms, painting a picture in a positive light, waxing poetic or waxing her surfboard, but Lindsay Lohan's lawyers earned a huge bonus this week after proclaiming her "maturity growth" in front of the press following her most recent court appearance.

Following up on Judge Sautner's positive comments related to Lohan's most recent behavior, going back no farther than 3 months of course, Lohan's law team hit the press to secure as much positive publicity as they could.

"Anything to offset the negative", said Entertainment insider and California surf shop owner, Mel Anoma. "I mean that girl knows how to sniff out a party and trouble at the same time. A little positive press isn't a bad thing".

Referring to the law team's comments about Lohan, Anoma said, "Well it's a bit early to be sending out for party balloons and congratulatory cake just yet, but those guys were laying it on thick. That wax job was smooth and tacky, much like her lawyers", said Anoma.

Lohan continues to remain under the watchful eye of the court, but if she manages to finish out her treatment program she could be back on the streets and in your local upscale club in time for Mojito and G-string season this summer.

"Yup", said Anoma. "If I were 20 years younger, I'd wax her surfboard myself for free".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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