Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 February 2012

image for Kate Gosselin Finding Comfort and Joy In The Arms  of Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With The Stars
Kate Gosselin says that Maksim has really helped her to get over being dumped by Steven Tyler. (Photo by Bruno Tonioli).

VENICE BEACH - It appears that "The Badboy of The Ballroom" Dancing With The Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy has come to the aid of a damsel in distress.

The fiery tempered Russian born dancer whose last name Chmerkovskiy, according to Judge Carrie Ann Inaba, is pronounced [CHIP-PEN-DALE] was seen walking hand-in-hand with none other than the former star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin.

Mrs. Gosselin who is 36, first met the 32-year-old Chmerkovskiy two years ago when she was a contestant on DWTS and he helped her sew a bra strap that she had broken.

Her dance partner was Tony Dovolani who really upset Kate when he remarked to TV ClickerWorld that Kate had two left feet. Maks says he remembers sitting in his dressing room the first week and having Kate suddenly peak in asking him if he had a band aid.

He asked her why she needed a band aid and she replied that she had somehow gotten a little scratch on her right upper thigh. She smiled as she lifted up her skirt and showed Maksim a very nice looking, firm, shapely thigh.

Maks says he recalls looking in his knick knack drawer and finding a Dora The Explorer band aid. He asked Kate if she minded it.

She laughed and reminded him that she had eight little kids and that her girls absolutely loved Dora the Explorer.

Soon Kate went on her way and Maksim confided to fellow dancer Derek Hough that he would like to go out with Kate someday and see how long it would take him to get to third base.

So when he heard that Kate had been dumped by her boyfriend, Steven "Lips" Tyler of American Idol he quickly got her phone number from former talk show host Larry King.

Derek revealed that the first time that Maks called up Kate the two talked on the phone for 55 minutes. He said that Maksim later told him that he had no idea that Kate knew the Russian words for baby pacifier, violin, M&Ms, and Hayden Panettiere.

A few days later Maksim arranged for Kate to fly out to Tinsel Town and be his guest. The two really hit it off great visiting Knotts Berry Farm, Grauman's Chinese Theater, and the Burger Bandit parking lot where Ashton Kutcher told Demi Moore that he was leaving her that little blonde skank.

Maksim really finds Kate to be quite attractive. He commented to Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight that Kate has one of the sexiest bodies that he has ever seen.

"Sexier than Sofia Vergara's body?" De Gallo asked.

"Yes" replied Maks.

"How about Scarlett Johansson?"

"Her also." Noted the native of the Ukraine.

Kate meanwhile spoke with Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and remarked that Maks has more muscles in one arm than her husband Jon "Mr. 3 Inches" Gosselin had in his entire body.

Gosselin blushed and sheepishly added that Chmerkovskiy's crotch region is also a heck of a lot more impressive than Steven's.

Kate is reported to have told her children's nanny Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister, that she has found comfort and joy in the arms of Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

She confessed that when she is with "Marvelous" Maksim that she gets a tingling sensation in her lap region that makes her feel as if she is a volatile volcano that is getting ready to spew forth its molten lava.

In a non-related story. The nations First Lady Michelle Obama has said that the rumor that she is pregnant is absolutely not true. She added that her husband, President Obama has already told Vice-President Joe Biden that he is going to stop with his practical jokes or else he is going to find himself standing in the unemployment line.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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