Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 12 January 2012

image for Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Reveal Their Amazing New Years Resolution
Justin and Selena are working on a duet CD titled "Two Happy Teens Just Chillin."

SANTA MONICA, California - One of the happiest young couples in America was spotted walking hand-in-hand on the famed Santa Monica Pier.

Singing sensations Justin Bieber, 17, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez, 19, were seen feeding each other some pink cotton candy and laughing out loud as if they were watching an episode of the number one situation comedy on television Modern Family.

Bieber was wearing the Boa Constrictor Boots that Selena had given him as a Christmas present. And Selena was wearing a pair of Daisy Duke shorts that her best friend Demi Lovato had hand-sewn for her.

Both were wearing T-Shirts that read "Our Smiles Are Really Real - Really."

The young couple who have millions of fans separately and collectively recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen asked how they were holding up after the false baby mama charges from Mariah "Dollar $ign$" Yeater.

Justin said that to him it was all like water off a duck's back. He then pointed out that Selena was really furious and wanted him to sue the hell out of the money seeking (skank).

Ellen then asked if they had made any New Years resolutions. Justin and Selena both blushed. They said that they had made one but that it was very personal.

DeGeneres said that she knew what their resolution was. Justin perked up and told her that there was no way in the world that she could possibly know that because not even his own mother knew.

Selena smiled and echoed what her Canadian boyfriend had said.

Ellen reached underneath her chair and took out a brown envelope. She opened it up and said that she had the answer in the envelope. She handed the envelope to the happy, surprised as-the-dickens couple.

As they read the note in the envelope both turned pale. Justin asked her how in the world she had found out because they know that they did not tell anyone.

Ellen smiled and said that she had contacted an individual who is one of the world's leading clairvoyants and that she had paid her an undisclosed amount of money to tell her what Justin and Selena's New Years resolution was.

DeGeneres asked the two if she could reveal it to her studio audience and to the nation. The two young surprised singing sensations both nodded approvingly.

Ellen said that the 2012 New Years resolution that Justin and Selena had made was that they would continue to be celibate all the way to December 31, 2012.

The audience erupted in a thunderous applause. Selena started crying. Ellen started crying. And Justin began singing his song "Favorite Girl."

FOOTNOTE: According to Tittle Tattle Tonight the amount of money that DeGeneres paid the Lake Charles, Louisiana clairvoyant, identified as Madam Acadia "The Cajun Moon" Lafayette was $925.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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