Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

image for It's Official! X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz To Tour With Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato
Gomez, Lovato, Crow, and Ryniewicz will each have their own hair stylists (shown above) when they go on tour.

HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Selena Gomez has just announced an upcoming concert tour that will feature Gomez, Demi Lovato, and two of this year's youngest X-Factor contestants Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14.

The 37-city tour is being promoted by Simon Cowell's 19th Hole Productions Company in association with L.A. Reid's Hip Sounds of L.A. Recording Company.

A Selena Gomez spokesperson identified as Pettus P. Plickerfaust, 43, told Bijou Silhouette of Left Coast Mirror Magazine that the tour pegged as The Four Young Queens Across America Concert Tour will have its kickoff in Aberdeen, South Dakota at the brand new Chief Sitting Bull Convention Center.

The opening act for the Gomez, Lovato, Crow, & Ryniewicz quartet will be comedian Chelsea Handler who has been instructed to refrain from using any four letter words, obscene vulgarisms, x-rated jokes, lewd limericks, smart ass smut, rude profanity, or foulmouthed filth.

The tour is being sponsored by Revlon, Maybelline, CoverGirl, and Jose Cuervo Tequila.

Thirteen-year-old Rachel Crow was asked by Miss Silhouette how it felt to go on tour with two of the most popular young female singers in the nation.

Rachel who has never been at a loss for words appeared to be tongue tied but soon remarked that she is so thrilled and honored to go on tour with Gomez and Lovato that she would give up eating candy for a whole year.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: That is really saying something as it is widely known that "Little Crow" as Rachel is known eats 10 boxes of Junior Mints and 8 boxes of Raisinets daily.]

When Drew was asked how she felt going on tour with two super stars like Selena and Demi she replied that she could not believe it. She recalled how horrible she had felt while sitting on that silly chair on the X-Factor stage and thinking to herself that Simon (Cowell) had absolutely lost his mind.

And then when she lost she was simply devastated and just wanted to leave the building and walk away and not stop walking until she got to Costa Rica.

When asked why Costa Rica, the 14-year-old simply shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Oh, I don't know. I saw it on the side of a banana once."

FOOTNOTE: Noted film director Sheboygan Saddlewood will be filming the entire concert tour and will turn it into a movie which he is tentatively calling A Box Full of Dainty Musical Notes.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

7 2 15 21

Go to top