Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 6 December 2011

image for Rosie O'Donnell Says She's Getting The Best Christmas Gift Ever - A Brand New Wife
A photo of Michelle Rounds, the soon to be Mrs. Rosie O'Donnell. (Photo by Kelly Ripa).

NEW YORK CITY - Talk show host Rosie O'Donnell says that she has not been as happy as she is right now since the night back in March when she ate two Pizza Gal Pepperoni Pizzas all by herself.

O'Donnell, 49, said that she has asked her new girlfriend Michelle Rounds, to be her new wife and M-Rounds gladly said "Ye$."

Rosie has set a wedding date of December 25, which just happens to also be Christmas Day. She told Coquette Eucalyptus of The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette that marrying Michelle will be the greatest Christmas gift she has ever gotten, even eclipsing that New York Giants NFL football helmet she received when she was married to her first wife Kelli Carpenter.

O'Donnell was asked if the reason she was not wasting anytime in making Michelle her wife was due to the fact that Miss Rounds father, Roger Rounds does not like Rosie because she is not a male and he always dreamed that his little girl would grow up to be a big girl and marry a big guy and not grow up to marry a big girl who acts like a big guy.

Rosie said that she is marrying Michelle because she just happens to like white blonde women just like Herman Cain, Tiger Woods, and Vice-President Joe Biden all do.

O'Donnell has said that she has asked rock and roll lesbianite singer Melissa Etheridge to be her "Best Man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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