Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 December 2011

image for All of The Justin Bieber Baby Mama Talk Has Girlfriend Selena Gomez Now Wanting A Baby
Mariah Yeater's baby boy Trickster Aloysius Justice Yeater, has become one of America's most famous babies.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber's girlfriend Selena Gomez recently appeared on The View and talked about her career, her love for guacamole dip, her fondness for the Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, and her infatuation with her boyfriend Justin Bieber.

Joy Behar asked Selena how she was able to handle the recent rumors about Justin allegedly fathering a child with Mariah Yeater.

Selena smiled and said that first off she saw several photos of the baby named Trickster Aloysius Justice Yeater and she pointed out that he looks nothing at all like Justin and in fact the baby actually looks more like he could be the son of Charlie Sheen or Jesse James.

Gomez told Behar that it was her who had insisted that Justy go to Paramus, New Jersey and take a DNA Test at The Come On In DNA Collection Clinic.

Behar asked if she had gone to Paramus with Justin and she replied that she had and that she had even been allowed to be in the DNA collecting room and that clinic physician Dr. Raleigh "Cool Hands" Handlebrewster had even allowed her to hold the collection cup.

Gomez said tht she was so nervous she was afraid she was going to spill the DNA contents all over the PlayMister Magazine that Justy had been given as a standard DNA collection inducer.

Selena said that the entire process including the 'relaxation' meal afterwards took about 25 minutes.

Behar asked Selena what her and Justin had talked about on the flight back home to California. She giggled and said that they talked about the NBA lockout, the pitiful Penn State mess, the pathetic Syracuse mess, the Naziesque U of Cal mess, Herman Cain's silly looking black cowboy hat, and the fact that Selena thinks that she would like to have a little Justin or a little Selena sometime in the not-too-distant future.

Joy asked her about the rumor that Justin had hired an attorney in regards to Yeater's claim. Selena nodded and said that Justin has hired the services of noted California attorney Gloria Allred and plans to file a lawsuit against Ms. Yeater on grounds of Falsification of Fructus Habeas Fiduciary and Fabrication of Ad Infinitum Caveat Lector.

Behar asked Selena what all of that means and Gomez simply shrugged her shoulders and said that she's only 19 and she has no idea on earth what the heck it all means.

In other news. Sarah Palin reportedly told Tapioca Swizzle of 'Tittle Tattle Tonight' that she may consider running for president in 2016, after everyone has forgotten all about her and that black basketball player.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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