Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

image for Naomi Campbell Says She Wants To Adopt X-Factor's Little Hip Hop Rapper Astro
Astro at the age of two shown with the tenement building landlord Abigail "Ripple Wine" Rippenowski.

NEW YORK CITY - Naomi Campbell, known as "The Undisputed Queen of Mean" stated that she would like to adopt Astro, the little, arrogant rap singer on X-Factor.

Campbell, who has one of the worst attitudes of anyone in the Northern Hemisphere told LaSabrosa Windwater of Afro Sheen Magazine that she was watching X-Factor when Astro ended up in the bottom two and he became so angry that he said that he did not want to sing for the people who did not like him.

She said that it reminded her of herself, since she is one of the world's most talented individuals but so many people do not like her because of her piss poor attitude, her spoiled diva personality, and the fact that she thinks that she is better than everyone else.

Naomi, who has been known to physically attack her employees, remarked that she knows that she would be the perfect mother for Astro since he, at the age of 15, has already shown a total lack of respect for the television viewers, the shows judges, and his fellow performers.

Astro reportedly told Stacy Francis, who was eliminated last week, that he will kick every contestant's ass including the favorites Melanie Amaro and Jason Krajcik.

He went on to say that he can almost smell the $5 million first prize and he is already making plans on how to spend it. Astro said he plans on buying about $80,000 worth of bling bling and getting at least half a dozen tattoos.

He remarked that he will also buy himself three pit bulls, a boa constrictor, and some piranhas.

When asked why he would want piranhas he said because several hip hop artists like Kanye West and Jay-Z have them as a type of hip hop status symbol.

He smiled and said that he also plans on taking about $700 and donating it to the Herman Cain presidential campaign fund. Astro said that he wants to have a president in office who is 100 percent black and not just 50 percent black like President Barack Obama.

LaSabrosa Windwater has just published her first book entitled, 'The Circulatory System of A Gnat.'

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

1 16 14 3

Go to top ^