Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 November 2011

image for Mariah Carey and Michael Buble Hire Gloria Allred To Force Kim Kardashian To Return All of Her Wedding Gifts
This is the money that Kim Kardashian received for selling her wedding panties on eBay. (Photo by Rob Kardashian).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted singers Michael Buble and Mariah Carey have both come out as saying that Kim Kardashian should be ashamed of herself for tricking the entire world into believing that her recent wedding to NBA lockout player Kris Humphries was for ever and ever.

According to a report which appeared in The Tinsel Town Times Tribune Michael Buble and Mariah Carey are both extremely upset at the sheer audacity of Kim "The Kon Artist" Kardashian.

Buble told Margarita Mixx of 5T that he personally spoke with Kris Humphries and he is devastated. He told Buble that he had no idea that his marriage was only going to last 72 days.

He pointed out that he did think it kind of odd when he and Kim talked about getting matching tattoos which read Kim+Kris=4Ever and that Kim told him to get his first and that she would get her's sometime around Thanksgiving.

Kris also noted that on their wedding night Kim had asked him for his computer password, which he gave her. He then asked her for her's and she replied that she would tell him later.

When he asked her when, she smiled and replied "Sometime around Thanksgiving."

Miss Mixx asked Buble why he and Mariah Carey had decided on hiring famed attorney Gloria Allred. He said that he and Mariah have been great friends even before she met, fell in love with, and subsequently married Nick "The Pogo Stick" Cannon.

He stated that both he and Mariah are very close.

"Kinda like brother and sister?" Mixx asked.

"No." Replied Michael. "I guess you could say it's more like infatuated with Mariah, Michael and infatuated with Michael, Mariah."

Mixx stated that she was not sure if she followed his drift but that she preferred not to go there.

Buble took a sip of his Seven & Seven and said that he and Carey decided to hire Ms. Allred because they both got tired of every time that they would turn on the television or pick up a media entertainment magazine that all they would hear about is how mistreated poor little Kim Kardashian is.

Buble said, "Well let me tell you. I am very good friends with her hair stylist, FuFi Fondue of Beverly Hills, and FuFi told me that Kim had it all planned out from the very beginning."

Michael went on to say that (Kim) literally got paid millions of dollars for selling her story, her photographs, her deodorant container, her wedding clothes, two of her four pet goldfish, and even her wedding underwear

He said that Mariah is in total agreement with him. And he stressed that they do not want any monetary gain for themselves since both he and Mariah Carey are pretty damn well off in the money department.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: According to www.howmuchyougot.huh, Michael Buble is worth $40 million and Mariah Carey is worth $500 million.]

Buble stated that he wants for everyone else to get their wedding gifts back. People who are not in the business and who are not celebrities such as Escondido Basilicatta of Santa Fe, New Mexico who gave Kim and Kris a $20,000 Santa Gertrudis breeding bull.

Buble also mentioned Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Pufflesteen of Topeka, Kansas who gave the newlyweds a 7 day, 7 night all-expenses paid cruise to 7 different exotic ports on the Mediterranean Sea.

Miss Mixx asked Michael what advice he had given to Kris. He smiled and told Kris that he is a nice, good looking, talented young man and he may not realize it at the moment but truth be told getting divorced from Kim is really the best thing that can happen to him.

He added that now he needs to simply get as far away from the dysfunctional Kardashian 'Klan' as he possibly can.

Michael said that while he would have no problem giving Kris a nice divorce gift he says that he wouldn't give Kim a damn fire extinguisher if her big humongous ass was on fire.

In a related story. Gloria Allred has said that when she gets through with Miss Kim Kardashian, the Left Coast diva will be lucky if she even gets to keep the pair of $37 crotchless panties that her own sister Khloe gave her.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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