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Friday, 4 November 2011

image for Fears growing over potential Westlife reunion
Simon Cowell speaks

The world of showbiz was today rocked to it's very foundations, to its actual core, in fact (get on with it - Editor) er, ok, er with the threatened possibility of a Westlife reunion.

Still reeling from the non-split in 2004 when Brian McFadden quit the group leaving millions of real music fans hopeful and positive at the thought of their total disappearance, the remaining members sadly responded by having a few extra tattoos and lumps of metal welded into their heads and then releasing yet another dreadful cover of a song causing a long-dead pop star to revolve once more, at an even greater speed, in his grave.

Louis Walsh, currently nailing loads of things on the 2011 X-Factor series while arguing with fellow half-wits, er, I mean, judges and clapping enthusiastically like a demented primate at every act, regardless of how talentless they are, said he had actually tried "nailing the group to its contract".

And even with his years of experience of nailing things, he seems to have failed.

However Simon Cowell, who originally signed the group to his Psychopath record label, speaking today from his bank account said that there was still a distinct possibility that the group may yet get back together again.

He said that the break up, mainly intended to encourage sales of their back catalogue with his own company, was as a result of their signing to a different record label in 2011. He claimed that they simply couldn't get on without him, and that's the reason they've split up.

He threatened that once their back catalogue sales drop, they'll be back.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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