Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: X-Factor

Friday, 4 November 2011

image for X-Factor: The Real Reason Why The Judges Sent The Ten-Member Group InTENsity Packing
Nicole Scherzinger relaxing at her home in Malibu Beach. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

LOS ANGELES - X-Factor finally got down to having the viewers vote for their favorite performers.

No doubt that the leading vote getter's were surely Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, LeRoy Belle, and Stacy Francis.

On the other side of the coin and in the bottom two were the five-member boy band Stereo Hogzz and the ten-member Mickey Mouse Club group InTENsity.

Both groups performed in the showdown and the judges decided which of the two would go home. Both groups did their best with the Stereo Hogzz bringing out a dozen Las Vegas showgirls, a stripper, two lap dancers, a juggler, a magician who turned a microphone stand into a Shetland pony, and the Kinetic King who stood in the background uttering his patented phrase, "Woo-hooooo."

The Stereo Hogzz sang the Bob Dylan classic "Mr. Tambourine Man" and the lead singer sounded exactly like Neil Young.

And then it was InTENsity's turn and they came out riding five elephants from the Alzafar Shrine Circus. They sang the song "Baby Elephant Walk" with the boys dressed as Tarzan and the girls dressed as Jane.

The well-trained five elephants did a fantastic modified moon walk and did not miss a single beat.

Host Steve Jones who speaks with a very pronounced British accent kind of like So You Think You Can Dance Host Cat Deeley told the audience that the judges would now vote to see who they would eliminate.

Simon Cowell voted to eliminate the Stereo Hogzz saying that he hates jugglers, livestock, and added that the song was an absolute mess pointing out that they could have used a little bit more tambourine.

Paula who mentored both groups was visibly shaken at having to eliminate one of her own acts. She smiled and got all teary eyed and finally ended up flipping a quarter and eliminated InTENsity.

The lovely Nicole Scherzinger said that she was somewhat offended at seeing a stripper on the stage and said that he would have to eliminate InTENsity.

And the fourth Judge L.A. Reid, who no one had heard of before he was picked to appear on X-Factor also chose InTENsity saying that he really liked the Stereo Hogzz and was quick to say that it was not just because they are black like him.

After the show, Simon Cowell spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine and informed him that the real reason why three of the judges chose to eliminate the ten-member group instead of the five-member group was a simply matter of basic math 101.

Yazoo asked "The Sultan of Sarcasm" to explain and Cowell said that that before the show the producers had kind of hinted that it was costing a small fortune to put up the ten singers in hotels and provide all of their meals and their transportation plus a $20 daily incidental allowance.

SIDENOTE: Simon Cowell wants to respond to the hundreds of thousands of text messages, emails, and phone calls he received asking him to please replace the host Steve Jones with Ryan Seacrest because Jones really mispronounces a lot of the American words. Cowell said he will not replace Jones but that he will consider adding subtitles

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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