Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 28 October 2011

image for Johnny Robinson Slated For The Ultimate CD Anthem Release Of All Time
In The Navy! You Can Get Navy Cake...And Stuff...

News has leaked out - possibly via a sagging pit prop - that Johnny Robinson, out of the X-Factor has been selected to front the ultimate anthemic anthems CD of anthems of all time.

Mega musical guru of gurus, Simon Cowbell, has got his head together with Cheryl Curl and Louis 'Raquel' Welch and between them they've decided to produce the best selling anthem CD of anthemic anthems of all time and even before that.

With Johhny Robinson supplying the vocals.

"We feel that the world is ready to be rocked," Cowbell told reporters. "So we've lined up a few tunes for Johnny, and we think we've come up with something that will outsell The Beatles, The Stones, Madonna, that Wacko bloke who's brown bread, and the Soundtrack from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Sound Of Music. We'll shit 'em!"

Insiders report that Johnny Robinson is currently hard at work rehearsing David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust, Elton John's Rocket Man, Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock (Not the version where Number Forty Seven tells Number Three that he fancies him - because that would just be too gay.) the mighty Cliff's Devil Woman, Abba's Waterloo, the Sex Pistols' Anarchy In The UK, and Keith Harris and Orville the Duck's I Wish I Could Fly.

Along with Relax by Frankie Goes To Boreham Wood.

Simon Cowbell's original plans to incorporate American classics such as Springsteen's Born In The USA, Tammy Wynette's Stand By Your Man, Dolly Parton's Jolene, and Mike Harding's Rochdale Cowboy were thwarted, when a US pressure group consisting of four or five deluded fruitloops raised objections.

On a positive note, Liberace's version of Beethoven's classic piano piece Fur Elise was approved by the US based pressure group, because "It's gay, and we don't hold with that sort of thing."

Negotiations between record company executives and Johnny Robinson's Cowbell led consortium currently appear to have stalled, over plans to have Robinson perform I Will Survive, Let's Hear It For The Boy, In The Navy, When A Man Loves A Woman, and American Trilogy.

"We can't be havin' no gaylord singing them iconic American anthems" said Fox News's Bill O'Reilly. "God dammit, the spin has to stop somewhere!"

Allegedly.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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