Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Amy Winehouse, Booze

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

image for Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!
Amy Winehouse having breakfast with a bottle of vodka on toast!

In St Pancras (no medical analogies please), London, the corner overseeing the inquest into Amy Winehouse's death has confirmed the fact that Amy more than lived up to her name.

In fact she had more wine (and other spirits, not the ghostly type, not yet) in her tiny house than Sherry-Lehmann, wine merchants, have in theirs.

Hence, she topped it, because certain parts of her anatomy couldn't deal with the constant flow of booze entering her sweet singing mouth. It is rather a shame that one of the most talented singers the UK have ever produced should have ended this way, but at least it wasn't a drug overdose or "Golden Shot".

Since her passing, Off Licences in the vicinity of Amy's flat have been turning over rather less and one Off Licence owner in Camden gave the following statement:

"While Amy was around there was never any talk of recession or crisis, since she's gone my Off Licence has turned over 50% less, thank God it's nearly Christmas so we can all forget Amy and praise the Lord for being born, hallelujah!"

Amy's fans sorely miss her and so to does the alcohol industry!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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