Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars Watches As Carson Kressley Skips Off Into The California Sunset
The high heel shoes that Carson Kressley wore two weeks ago in his Judy Garland dance routine. (Photo by Richard Simmons).

HOLLYWOOD - One of the most animated celebrities to ever appear in the 13 season history of Dancing With The Stars Carson Kressley is the latest to be eliminated.

Kressley, who is noted for being a fashion expert or as he likes to call himself, an exalted guru of the flamboyant fashionista society, finished in eighth place, or as British Judge Len Goodman called it "Bloody, bloomin' last place me bouncing boy."

Kressley scored a total of 19 points out of a possible 30. The Italian Judge and fellow sidesaddle rider Bruno Tonioli remarked that Carson although very funny and entertaining to watch simply did not have the technique, musicality, fluidity, rhythm, or geographical knowledge that it takes to be a dance floor contender.

Tonioli "The Gaytalian" asked Carson where he got his 'darling' cheerleaders uniform because he would like to get one for Halloween.

Kressley lit up and got all giddy and told Bruno that he has an extra cheerleader's outfit at his 'precious' apartment in West Hollywood.

He giggled and whispered to Bruno that he can come get it when he comes to pick up the underwear that he had borrowed from him for the dance routine.

Carrie Ann Inaba, the third judge said that watching Carson dance out on the dance floor reminded her of watching a halibut that has just been tossed onto the deck of a fishing boat and how it is moving at 90 miles an hour and not really going anywhere.

After Carson and his sexy looking partner Anna Trebunskaya were eliminated DWTS Host Tom Bergeron asked him what he would be doing now.

Kressley smiled and said that he would be out in the front lobby autographing copies of his latest book titled, The Bon Vivant's Guide To Looking Fabulously Chic While Cooking Exotic Food With Names That Most People Cannot Even Pronounce.

Carson Kressley Has Authored Several Best Selling Books Including -

  • The Lost Art of Swishing and Swaying While Mall Shopping For Jewelry
  • The Illustrated Book of Feminine Looking Shoes For The Feminine Looking Sissy
  • Choosing The Right Accessories To Go With Lavender, Pink, and Fuchsia Colored Short Shorts

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

8 5 23 4

Go to top ^