Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Ricki Lake and Derek Hough Are Sizzling on Dancing With The Stars
The red high heel shoes that Ricki Lake used in her dance number. (Photo courtesy of Carson Kressley).

HOLLYWOOD - The former talk show host and one-time surf boarding champion Ricki Lake is following in her idol Kirstie Alley's foot steps, or rather dance steps as she showed the Dancing With The Stars judges and audience that the little chubby gal can flat out dance and dance pretty darn good.

Her and her partner Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough received the first triple 9's of the season and finished in first place with 27 points out of a possible 30.

Ricki who makes no bones about the fact that she is addicted to M&Ms, carrots, and bottled water literally glided across the dance floor as if she had stepped in a vat of Land of Lakes Butter.

Judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman apparently took a chill pill because the usually bitter, arrogant, and sarcastic as hell Englishman was smiling up a storm when the happy couple finished dancing their routine to Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay."

Goodman said that she reminded him of last year's second place finisher Kirstie Alley except that Ricki is much shorter, nowhere near as heavy, and is not given to grimacing like Alley was.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli commented that Ricki looked extremely sexy, sensuous, and sultry and he noticed that several times during their dance routine her and Derek were so close to each other that he could actually see Derek's Mambo pressing up against her Salsa.

Carrie Ann Inaba was blushing so much that she actually had a bit of a problem pronouncing her vowels and ended up having to confine her remarks to words without vowels.

She laughed and said that if Derek and Ricki danced like that in Arkansas or Kentucky the kinfolk would make them get hitched (married) on the spot.

SIDENOTE: Ten contestants remain and Woody The Wonder Woodchuck has picked Nancy Grace, Carson Kressley, and Chaz Bono to end up in the Bottom Three. Woody who so far this year is 0-2 is predicting that Nancy Grace will be the celebrity going home next.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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