Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 22 September 2011

image for Long John Beckham wears them in bed!
No place for this in Beck's new collection of long-johns!

David Beckham is about to launch his own range of "long john" underwear and promises that he was never influenced by Alfred Steptoe Snr. The toothless rag and bone man from way back when.

Beck's collection is tight, sexy, and reveals plenty of balls! Alfred's was baggy, stained, grey and pretty sexless. There is a slight connection between The Steptoes and Beckham, they both come from the East End of London where wearing long-johns used to be common, just like the people from there.

Beck's has also confessed to wearing his long-johns in bed because Posh has just had a baby and doesn't feel like sex at the moment and wearing long-johns is quite a turn off for both of them. But before the launch of his brand new, hot collection he's hoping that Posh will appreciate them and join him in the marketing campaign explaining to the world that long-johns are really sexy and without them David cannot perform.

There are two versions in the collection, one with a slit and without. Posh prefers the one with because when she feels like having a fifth baby David can perform with speed, something that he hasn't done on the football field for years!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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