Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 21 September 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan Has Just Been Mandated To Do 1,000 Hours of Community Service For Making Out With Her Mom In Public
A snapshot of Dina Lohan's midsection. (Photo courtesy of Rosie O'Donnell).

LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles County Superior Court judge who has been handling the case of Lindsay Lohan has just issued a directive that mandates that Miss Lohan perform 1,000 hours of community service.

Judge Stephanie "Smiley" Sauntner stated to the news media that she is sick and tired of Miss Lohan's total disregard for the law and now for the sanctity of human family decency.

According to published reports which appeared in The Tinsel Town Times Tribune, which were accompanied by at least half a dozen photos, Lindsay was caught sitting in a lounge in Venice Beach with her mother (Dina) and the two had been drinking quite a bit as evidenced by the fact that at one point the two snuggled up and actually began making out as if they were teenage love birds Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.

Several eye witnesses said that they reported hearing nearby patrons utter words like "Yuck!" "What da eff?" "Yicky yucky!" and "Fa shizzle ma friggin nizzle y'all!"

When Judge Sauntner saw the photos she had a hard time believing what she saw but when she viewed a video with Miss Lohan where she actually apologized for the PDA (Public Display of Affection) she realized that she had no choice but to take action and act accordingly on the matterous matter.

The superior court judge was asked by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Kiowa Kettle that if the woman that was shown making out with Lindsay Lohan had been some other female other than her mother if she would have reacted in the same way.

Judge Sauntner pondered the question and then pointed out that if the female who was making out with Lindsay Lohan was a known lesbianite then she would have ruled the same way, but if it had just been a straight female who just happened to be jokingly playing around then she would simply have ignored it and written if off as simply a harmless good old girl prank.

Tittle Tattle Tonight has reported that ever since Lindsay first learned that her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson became engaged to Erin Foster that she has really been acting in an extremely out-of-control manner.

Lohan was even seen in a Pizza Gal parking lot trying to remove an I Love Ronson tattoo from her bikini line using nail polish remover, cotton balls, a cheese grater, and two slices of pepperoni.

5T and 3T will stay with the story and bring you any further dysfunctional Lohan family developments as they dysfunctionally develop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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