Emerald City, Oz-- The famous Tin Man from the 'Wizard of Oz' stories passed away in his sleep last night from heart failure. Doctors say his ticker simply stopped ticking. The Tin Man was the last of his Yellow Brick Road comrades to die. All the others died long ago.
Dorothy was the first to go. The poor girl became an alcoholic after she saw her little dog Toto killed by the local sheriff. Dorothy began drinking rubbing alcohol and died before she turned 18.
The Scarecrow was the next to go. The brainless moron smoked so much weed he accidently set himself on fire. He went up in smoke while watching the movie 'Up in Smoke'.
The poor Cowarldy Lion died from AIDS. The dandy-lion came out of the closet after he got his nerve. He died after spreading the deadly virus to all the Munchkins.
There will be no funeral for the Tin Man. Tin is now selling for $28.00 an ounce, and the Tin Man's remains have already been recycled.