Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 13 September 2011

image for Christina Aguilera To Guest Star As A Daisy Duke Shorts-Wearing Motorcycle Mama On The TV Series "Sons of Anarchy"
Two actors who portray Prince Charming, California motorcycle police in "Sons of Anarchy."

HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera recently stated that ever since she was a little girl growing up in Staten Island, New York that she has always been fascinated with motorcycles.

She said that for her third birthday her parents bought her a Fisher Price Harley Davidson plastic motorcycle that she loved so much that she would actually take it to bed with her as if it were a Barbie Doll.

So when the producers of the FX Network show Sons of Anarchy approached her about guest starring on their show she jumped at the chance.

The show is centered around a motorcycle gang that deals in legal and illegal business operations in the world of cosmetics. The show is set in the town of Prince Charming, California which is noted for two things; it is home to the world's largest grapefruit seed and it is the town where back in 1965, Bob Dylan wrote his first two big hit songs "Subterranean Homesick Blues" and "Like A Rolling Stone."

According to Sinclair "Kettle Corn" Quiffleboro, III, who wrote the Bob Dylan biography titled The Questions and Answers Are Blowing In The Wind, Robert Zimmerman (Dylan's real name) was so broke when he wrote the songs that he could not afford a guitar and actually wrote the two songs on a tambourine.

Sons of Anarchy stars Ron Perlman in the role of the president of the SAMCRO Motorcycle Club, Clarence "Clay Pigeon" Morrow. Katey Sagal portrays his sexy, tattooed cleavage showcasing, wife Gemma Teller Morrow and Charlie Hunnam stars as her son and Morrow's stepson Jackson "Jax Beer" Teller.

In her guest starring role Christina Aguilera stars as Jackson's cousin, the much tattooed and well-endowed Aphrodite "Knockers" Bratwurst.

Bratwurst, who grew up in Detroit, up until recently toured all over the carnival circuit as a motorcycle stunt daredevil in the touring troupe, Sexy Bitches & Ugly Bastards on Wheels. She ended up leaving the group after the infamous Milwaukee Motorcycle Kickstand Scandal of 2009.

In the Sons of Anarchy episode in which she guest stars, Christina's character, Aphrodite performs several unbelievable motorcycle stunts.

When she first appears on the screen she is shown driving into town wearing a skimpy pair of Daisy Duke shorts that come very close to revealing her labia majora.

She is later shown racing down an isolated farm road at 105 miles per hour while holding an Aberdeen Angus calf on her lap and eating a two scoop Pistachio Ice Cream Cone.

Her cousin "Jax Beer" remarks to his mom that if he didn't know any better he would swear that Cousin Aphrodite had a pair of balls.

His mom laughed and said that she did not want to know how it was that he didn't know any better.

SIDENOTE: Christina Aguilera actually did all of her own motorcycle stunts including the one where she jumps over a herd of 35 stampeding wild horses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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