MP's voted today to give Scotland its long awaited independence. That's good news for English tax payers who have been subsidising Scotland for hundreds of years. It is estimated that each English tax payer coughs up £1,450 per year for our border cousins.
English tax payers outnumber their Scottish counterparts by eleven to one. This means that every Scottish tax payer is subsidised to the tune of £15,950 per year.
The bad news for Scotland is they will now have to introduce tuition fees and pay for prescriptions like everybody else.
Analysts predict that the UK £ will be withdrawn as soon as next March. This will leave Scotland with two choices, start printing their own worthless money or beg to join the failing Euro.
Work starts next week on rebuilding Hadrian's Wall and the government is rushing through legislation to stem the expected influx of refugees and economic migrants attempting to cross the new border.
A senior spokesman for the government said; "If we could also get rid of Wales and Northern Ireland, not only would we be out of recession but probably end up as the most powerful economy in western Europe".
So there you have it. This time next year Scotland will have no Queen, no money and no prospects. But they will have independence. The moral of this story is, be careful what you wish for.