Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Internet

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

LONDON, NEW YORK, & LOS ANGELES - Film, music and videogame companies have agreed to file a litigation case against all 1,407,724,920 humans with internet access, just in case they 'try something'.

"We're just covering our backs here," said a spokesman for Sony, "with 4G data speeds coming around for internet, and fibre-optics, it'll only be a matter of time before people with new internet cables find out about bittorrent or whatever. We need to make sure that they don't do that."

The conglomerates are looking to take US$50,000 from every person which gives US$70,386,246,000,000 in total.

Why such an extraordinary amount?

"We've done some... uhh... calculations," he continued. "We've... taken... 50% of our backcatalogue and... look, what matters is that they don't do it."

As of press time... damn internet! See, this is why you should never download twelve movies at the same time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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