Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for Supermarket introduces Clip-on Trolley Klaxon Horns
Wooooah there!

One of Britain's major high street supermarket chains is to make their 'hire a horn' option available to customers regularly following 'positive' results of trials carried out in selected branches during the run-up to Christmas.

The klaxon horns - arriving customers hire them for a £1 when obtaining a trolley - are then simply clipped onto the side of the trolley and honked whenever an aisle is making it difficult to get along because of 'slow shoppers'.

A spokesperson for the company admitted that there had been a few teething problems during the pre-Christmas trials though.

"In one of our stores on Christmas eve"she said,"an elderly gentleman customer had such a fright that he fell into a shelf of eggs when a customer honked the klaxon directly behind him, and so as a precaution staff did call for an ambulance .

"However,after paramedics gave him a little oxygen and he'd been given a chair to sit down on for an hour with a cup of our own-brand tea he went away having a laugh about it. I think he was just embarrassed about the eggs he'd broken.

"As it was Christmas we didn't charge him for the breakages."

According to preliminary results, the trials did speed up traffic along the aisles on what is the busiest period of the year for supermarkets, and this was reflected by till receipts.

One concerns is that if used too often then the slow shopping customers could start to ignore the horns - the sudden shock of hearing them will have certainly been a factor in the success of currently ongoing trials.

For the immediate future the horns will only be made available for hire on Saturdays and for a full two weeks in the run-up to Easter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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