Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for Viagra Sales Firm while Ex-Lax Market Share Softens
Viagra sales firm. Ex-Lax sales softening.

U.S. pharmaceutical sales for both prescription and over the counter drugs remained strong this past week, where the movers and shakers included Viagra experiencing the strongest growth and Ex-Lax sliding into a softer market.

Wall Street analyst Peter Enplant believes that consumers are opting to spend more time at home rather than spend money on other entertainment options. "And nothing is better for your entertainment dollar than a four hour, long and strong jungle gym apparatus in the bedroom, eh?".

Conversely, consumers are learning to live with other bodily distresses, saving the money on over the counter medications like laxatives. Rather than pay for a box of Ex-Lax, consumers are trying home remedies instead. "Some of our research indicates that consumers are tighter than ever on extraneous expenses, looking for ways to cut wherever possible and this has led to drops in sales for products like Ex-Lax", says Enplant. "Most consumers are fighting constipation with over exposure to daytime television shows like "The View", or simple consumption of a bran muffin and a stick of butter. Both are guaranteed to give you the shits".

Enplant also indicated that other consumer products don't seem to be impacted by the recession at all. "We found that bottled water sales are down just a trickle while printer paper and cardboard sales remain flat".

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