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Saturday, 9 October 2010

The National Highway Safety Commission released a report today stating that the Stock Market is "Not a safe vehicle for families." The new 2011 regulations for vehicle safety has raised the standards on safety and the stock market did not make the cut.

The Kia Sorento, Honda Civic, and Chevy Aveo all beat out the stock market which got just a two star rating.

The new safety standards include head on collisions, side impacts, and back stabbing.

Leaders of the financial world are up in arms over this rating stating that " This poor safety rating will destroy our economy. "

It seems that in such a volatile environment the Stock Market may go the way of Pontiac and Saturn. The government has not released an official statement as of yet, but reports are showing that they are planning yet another bailout. Claiming that the stock market is "too big to fail."

Wall St. is planning on installing air bags in all new models of the stock market in order to bring up the rating in the future.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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