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Wednesday, 18 August 2010

image for Jane Girl Walnut To Open Cosmetics Counter Inside Hog Jaw Bait Shop
Jane Girl will sale lipstick and "other crap to make you look better"

Jane Girl Walnut, the daughter of John and Livie Walnut, has announced that she will share her cosmetics training and experience by setting up a make-up counter at the Bait Shop. Jane Girl, who was once in a play in Little Rock and got made up by professionals, said that her training in these skin care and beauty products should be shared with the rest of the community.

"Too many of our local women still use the toilet water that they have been buying for 40 years at the Five and Dime. I want to help them enhance and bring out their beauty and grace and elegance and shit. My products can take someone with a horse face like Emma Jean Riley and turn her into a beautiful and desireable woman like me."

The Buckner triplets, Maybelline, Avon, and Mary Kay, were the first in line when Jane Girl opened up her shop. "Maybelline bought her some lipstick. Avon got her some concealer for all her zit problems. Mary Kay passed on the make up today because the bait shop was having a sale on night crawlers."

Jerome Saldinger, owner of Jerome's Titty Bar on the highway, said that "if this make-up stuff can improve any of my girls, I may just hire Jane Girl to come out and pretty them up before the nightly shows. I'll pay her more if her enhancers can make the flat chested ones look bigger."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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