Written by Jimbo123
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Topics: Economy, Money, FSA

Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for FSA banned from giving advice
FSA directors play Monopoly to help them understand the banking system.

The FSA is to be mothballed by the incoming government after it failed in all it's statutory objectives. It's 2,800 workers will be put on gardening leave from next week with the possibility of moving to the treasury or OFT at a later date.

In a damning report, the treasury found that - the public didn't have a clue about the 'financial system', market confidence was in shreds, consumers hadn't been protected and financial crime was rampant. Additionally 'Chinese walls' to stop analysts and 'rainmakers' sharing information were 'a running joke'.

A treasury spokesman commented - "We're sick of these quangos blaming their cock-ups on the credit crunch. FSA regulation was a dogs breakfast long before 2007."

However the biggest condemnation was how they let 'Joe Public' run up a debt of nearly £1.5 trillion in the so called good times, and what they intend to do about it now.

The FSA's feeble solution of banning self certified mortgages 'after the horse had bolted' was seen as the last straw.

"They've buggered the mortgage market and now they want to trash the housing market as well" said an irate minister - a warning that if people can't refinance, they can't move house - potentially tipping property prices off a cliff.

Financial advisers however were delighted - with a touch of 'schadenfreude' since it's usually been the FSA banning them. One director commented - "I didn't realise how big my office was without the FSA guidance books - it's twice the size!"

The Green Party also welcomed the move saying at least 1 million trees would be saved annually in paperwork, books and tissue paper.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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