Written by Willy LePunque
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Thursday, 31 March 2005

A long discussed proposal to change the date of April Fools Day to April 15th became actual initiative today as papers were signed, hands were shaken, and fannies were patted all around at the offices of the Taxpayers Association in Largo, Florida. Curtis Holmes, founder of the Taxpayers Association, was himself on hand to discuss the formalization of this movement to have the well-known and time-honored April Fools Day changed from April 1st to April 15th. Holmes spoke at length throughout the hot and humid Florida afternoon, swilling iced tea all the while, expounding on such themes as appropriateness of this measure, and the true definition of the word Fool.

"Why, I believe there has never been a more closely related instance where a group of people have measured so well with a word, as Americans, and the word Fool. Americans gladly pay well over 30% of their earnings to swindlers who produce nothing but bad news which always gets worse, thereby ensuring their children are even more encumbered by the same swindlers a generation later. If that is not foolishness, what IS?

Holmes's eyes get large and you can tell he is just warming up.
"When one considers the actual origins of both April Fools Day, and April 15th as Tax Day" drawls the effervescent Holmes, "It is not too hard to see that there are actual associations whereby perhaps a certain type of people are more easily schnook red at certain phases of the moon, or at least the phases of the moon during that time of year, so there must be some mistake, some mix-up, and we are here to at least set this straight, seeing as putting a stop to the swindle of taxes and vigorish and usury seems to be totally out of the question..."

The Taxpayer himself, Curtis Holmes, continues forward in his quest for truth, and oblivious to all else, even those going screaming and kicking, drags the present into the future along with him. To obtain petitions write the Taxpayers Association Box 887 Largo Florida 33543. Lets Do It. We will let the future know that even though we were helpless to really accomplish anything against the plight that afflicts us, we were at least aware of it! Make April 15th April Fools Day!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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