Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 16 March 2010

image for David Beckham Set To Miss World Cup Because He Is Too Old And No Good
Surplus to requirements

David Beckham, the former Manchester United and England star, who, at the moment, can't decide whether he is an LA Galaxy player or an AC Milan player, is set to miss this year's World Cup in South Africa because he is too old and not good enough, says a report on the BBC.

Beckham, who is now nearly 41, had hoped to take centre stage at the World Cup every time England won a free-kick just outside the box, but has been told by national team coach Fabio Capello that he no longer comes up to scratch, and that he cannot live on a ast reputation forever.

Capello told us:

"Becksee wozza good ina past, but now 'eeza past it."

England open their World Cup campaign against the USA on June 12th, and will probably thrash them to pieces without the burden of having to 'carry' Beckham.

Beckham is married to the former Spice Girl, Posh Beckham, 56.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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